You can start with one child and one buddy.

This is the most common worry. Traditional children's ministry assumes every child can sit, listen, do a craft and wait for a snack. Many children don't fit that mold. The fix is to change how the hour is set up. Give them a buddy who knows them, a place to take breaks, and shorter lessons with more movement. When a buddy knows a child tends to run, they're ready for it.

The right match matters too. Stillwater had one boy who would sometimes hit, and it took the right person to stay calm with him. The church asked a car mechanic, a big, gentle man who loves kids, to be his buddy. The two became best friends, and the boy's behavior changed when he was around him.

You don't need them. Stillwater's buddies have included retirees, teenagers, college students and a car mechanic with no experience at all. As Pastor Jon put it, "They weren't all professionals, and I don't think you need professionals. They had a big heart and were willing to learn and try new things." What makes a great buddy is a relationship with Christ, a willingness to learn and a desire to serve. The training videos and the buddy tip sheet cover the rest.

"A kid like Sean needs a little bit of extra attention, but apart from that he doesn't need anything particularly different than other kids." A Special Friends buddy

It will happen now and then. One Stillwater boy occasionally slipped away from his class, ran to the worship center and came up front to help with the sermon. The pastor made a joke, everyone laughed, and the service went on. The church had decided ahead of time that this is part of who they are, so nobody treated it as a crisis. Then they adjusted so it didn't happen every week. A few children also loved pulling fire alarms, so the church bought alarm covers. Decide now that small disruptions are part of church life, and most of them stop feeling like a big deal.

A small church can do this well. If one child comes, you need one buddy. Add more as more children come.

A sensory room can start as a corner with a tent, some pillows and a bin of rice (watch closely, since some children put things in their mouths). Ask your congregation for outgrown toys and furniture. See the sensory room checklist for a budget-friendly list.

Build a small team so no one has to serve every week. Give each child two or three buddies they know and rotate them. Sue schedules buddies this way so the child always sees a familiar face and nobody burns out. Look for each person's gift, too. Not everyone needs to be a buddy. Some people can meet with new families, train other volunteers, build, set up, or pray. A one-time event, like a respite night for families, is an easy way for someone to try serving before they commit to Sundays. Since 2014, Stillwater has never had a Sunday without a buddy.

Screen buddies the same way you screen any children's volunteer, including background checks, and follow your church's child safety policy. Before a child's first Sunday, ask parents about medical needs, allergies, bathroom help, what calms their child, and what to do if their child runs or has a hard moment. If a child runs, follow calmly and call for another adult. Buddies never restrain a child.

Parents tell Sue it changes their whole week. Most buddies say they get more out of it than they give. When Stillwater started a prom for people with disabilities, so many church members wanted to help that by the third year they had to close sign-ups early.