Our story

It started with one little girl and one buddy.

Sue Hey is a school occupational therapist. In meeting after meeting, she heard parents say their family had been made to feel unwelcome at church. Some were even asked not to come back.

In 2011 Sue attended a Joni and Friends Family Retreat, a week where families of children with disabilities are simply loved on. She went back three years in a row and came home each time wanting her own church to offer that same welcome.

In 2014 Sue told her pastor she felt called to start a ministry for these families. They planned to launch that fall. The next Sunday, a little girl in a wheelchair came to children's church, and nobody knew how to help her. They called Sue. A young woman became the girl's buddy, the two became friends, and Special Friends began.

Since then, Stillwater has had a buddy ready every Sunday. Families who were turned away elsewhere found a home, and they told their friends. Other churches asked for help starting their own, and several now run Special Friends their own way. This site shares what Sue has learned so your church can do the same.

Why two hands? The logo shows two hands coming together as equals, with a heart between them. Special Friends is about friendship. Nobody is above anybody.

What we believe

Every person bears the image of God

Regardless of how a person communicates, learns, moves or behaves, they were created on purpose and belong in the body of Christ.

People with disabilities serve too

Everyone has gifts the church needs. Adults with disabilities have helped build a Habitat for Humanity home alongside church members, using work tables adapted for wheelchairs.

Children are never forced

Every child joins in at their own pace. Lessons are adapted so each one can learn the same truth.

Fun is part of the plan

A child who loves coming to church means a family that keeps coming.

Stories from families

What changes when a family is welcomed

Sean is an escape artist. Sue paired him with some of the fastest runners, in their running shoes every week. That makes us feel very comfortable being in worship. This is one of the very few places he's so excited to get to and doesn't want to leave.

Harriet Watson, mom of Sean, who has Down syndrome

I know it's an hour out of an entire week, but that's the hour I get to go on my spiritual journey with God. When I pick her up, they tell me exactly what Finley did, what she said, or that she needed to step out because it was too overstimulating.

Shannon, mom of Finley, who has Down syndrome

I had not attended a service in many, many years without having to chase Joshua up and down the aisles. They create the environment for each child depending on their individual needs. Now I drop him off and I'm comfortable.

David, dad of Joshua, who has Down syndrome and autism

We paid a special needs babysitter every Sunday so we could go to church. Our son didn't even know what church was. When a friend told us about the ministry, I said, "You won't be able to handle our kid." It has changed our lives.

Jennifer Hanson, mom of a son with autism

Our daughter is in a wheelchair and nonverbal, and can't tell anyone what she needs. There's somebody in the classroom working just with her. All her needs are met, and my partner and I can sit in church and not worry.

Parent of a daughter who is nonverbal

It has allowed me, as the parent, to finally attend services and be spiritually fed after 7 years of not being able to. I know that my children are safe, cared for, wanted, and loved.

Adoptive parent

Why this is our call

What God's Word says

Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. 1 Corinthians 12:12 (NIV)

Where to next

Keep exploring

For parentsHow to bring this to your church.For church leadersAnswers to common worries and how to start.How it worksBuddies, the Sunday routine and steps toward the classroom.